Sadly and unfortunately I have nothing but regrets surrounding both of my parents and their deaths. My mother died when I was 21 years old. She was 44. She and I had a very tumultuous relationship. My parents had divorced when I was 15. My Dad abandoned us, and I blamed her. We were always fighting, she and I, and I said so many terrible things to her including "Drop Dead" which she did. You know the old saying "Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it". She died suddenly, and I was not able to get to her side before she died. I never had a chance to say "Mom, I am sorry, and I love you". As a mother now of a 13 year old daughter I realize all of the sacrifices she made. I understand how difficult it was for her as a mother of 3 young children without the help and support financially and emotionally of a husband. I have made peace with my regrets, but I will always regret the way I treated her and the fact that she and I never had a chance to make peace.
My father died 2 1/2 years ago. He and I had a loving close relationship. When he returned to my life 5 years after abandoning us I accepted him back and was thrilled to have him back. He became ill in May 2006 and I saw him slowly deteriorating. I saw him fighting back with courage and dignity. We, my family and I were there for him in his final months. I regret that on the day he died, at the moment he died, I was not there by his side to hold his hand and tell him one last time "Dad I love you always have and always will".
Yes, I also regret not having all of my questions answered by my parents while they were alive. My sister, brother and I have so many questions that will forever remain unanswered.
I added the bold font treatment to Carine's account becuase I think it is so very important.
Thank you, Carine, for sharing with us.
No comments:
Post a Comment