Lost LifeStory of Love

I received a very moving story from Linda Lowen who writes for the About.com Guide to Women's Issues. What a great testament to the need to capture life stories while our loved ones are still alive. Linda writes on a broad variety of topics but she has a passion for helping women in particular deal with unresolved grief.

I regret that I never asked either parent to tell me the true story of how they met.father (an American-born Jew) met and married my mother (a Japanese Buddhist) in Osaka, Japan - her hometown. He was a sailor on shore leave and she, to the best of my knowledge, was a secretary. Different family stories exist about their first meeting. One version says he was exchanging dollars for yen in a bank, and fell in love with her there. Another says that they met at a party through mutual friends.

I thought I had plenty of time to ask them. My mother, diagnosed with terminal liver cancer, lived 18 months beyond her diagnosis, and because she was doing so well I hesitated to ask 'those final questions' because she wanted to act as if nothing was wrong. When she declined, it happened within hours, and she slipped into a coma before I could tell her all I needed to say. My nursing home-bound father, in good health, died two weeks to the day after her death. A massive heart attack - totally unexpected. I am an only child with no remaining relatives who can answer that question. To my lifelong regret, the story of their blossoming love died with them.

I have heard similar stories often in recent months. When we wait too long to ask and record the key stories we stand the risk of great regret.